看了王小波，于是想成为一个哲学家。看了金庸，于是想拥有大侠性格。看了村上春树，于是变成了霍尔顿。看了麦田守望者，又把自己想象成了了不起的盖茨比。

这似乎并不矛盾，人是复杂的，要去评价评估一个人，也许并不是那么简单的事情。别人的终究是属于别人的，自己的事情只有自己知道。最近在思索一个问题，如何与他人相处。以前我并不在乎，现在终究要在这方面分个高低了，也开始在乎技巧了。

前几天，在一个好友说，能不能让所有人都喜欢我。我觉得，这是可行的，但所有人之中，就不包括自己了。如果你可以完全忽略自己的感受，你可以把自己当做一面镜子用。反射出他人，那么这事就成了。记得王小波说过一句话，大意是和他爱人在一起的时候要像个爱人，和孩子在一起的时候要像个孩子，和狗在一起的时候要像条狗。以前不理解，现在，终于懂了。

yesterday my two friends and me watched grand pix macau race . we sat beside the speedway and the sound of the vehicles’ engine shocked us a lot. thats the most impressed thing in my memory and the sound even make my ears painful . the most special sound of all thats acring . it sounds like somethings knocked against each other when the vehicle got start. maybe
thats improssible to feel the speed on our tv. but on the spot of the
race , thats so wonderful when i saw many vehicles past me in front. thats a spcial experience , a wonderful day . finally, thank jason for inviting me to watch it .

today , i took photos as usual , when i reviewed the photos and found that the shutter number comes to 10,000.
maybe thats a complex
to get the number in a short time . maybe a little bit waste . ok , just in memory of it .

When it was token a break ,
I relax myself for about two days . Thinking about the past weeks ,what the fucking life I lived. I got tired about this life completely. But I cant quit ,
i balanced the cost , its
just too huge
to
my parents and me. we cant dear it .

i tought i didnt do my best for my study in case that i got no interest in it . anyway i chose it before , thats my fault about it . its not right for anyone others to bear it instead of me. its a rule for a true man , isnt it ?

Anyway i
got it and have a restart to the next difficulty. i think i still
wont do my best for it , but it never stop me in my further life.

很郁闷，路是自己走的，但是又不是自己能控制的。如果前提是对得起全世界，那么后果就是对不起我自己。如果我说很多，那么又是对不起你们了。

沉默着，反正早就习惯了。umac，我到底能坚持多久。摄影，我到底要等待多久。